There aren’t many good single men left living in New York City. According to what everybody continues to tell us. And when Deanna* moved into the city in the latter part of 2021, it was her turn to test if any truth to this assertion. Being single since their boyfriend for 3 years broke up with her through Snapchat, Deanna joined Hinge and Tinder. It was around this time that a private Facebook page called Do You Dating the Same Guy NYC appeared as a suggested follow. The group had an intense prescreen survey and community guidelines that created a barrier to entry. It also had at 43,000 active members. Deanna was intrigued, so she enrolled.
The community
The group – which began with the goal of helping women discover if their potential partners were dating another person-was launched in March 2022. The majority of major US city has one of these groups now and the rules for all are simple: Everyone can post anonymously, no doxxing or posting sensitive information, and in no way can screenshots be deleted from the group. There is no bullying, no victim blaming or hate speech. Don’t tell a guy that he’s seen on the list. Following the scandal of West Elm Caleb, a man with whom many women from New York shared negative dating experiences and connected the dots online, it seemed many women were looking in search of a way to check out people like him.Read more https://datingfortodaysman.com/ At website Articles As one TikTok user wrote that time This is why we need an app where we can leave reviews of guys we’ve dated on Hinge.
This is essentially the way this group was when Deanna joined. Each iteration of Are We Dating the Same Guy functions as a central space for women looking for advice about their relationships or advise men whom they’ve had unpleasant dating experiences. Loyalty-testing long-term boyfriends-that is how they send out other women to attract them on social media has also become a common practice. It’s easy to fall down a in the midst of screen-shot Hinge profiles, stories of hookups that went wrong, and memes about the perils of modern day dating. Some of the most popular posts feature photos of men with their name asking whether someone has matched or dated the person on the profile. Red-flag emojis are an often sight on the few but alarming posts advising the group of an ex or a bad experience frequently accompanied by a downward arrow and ominous words See comments for more info.
The popularity of online dating has been a major factor in our options in recent years A recent study finding that about 39 percent of heterosexual couples meet their loved ones online. It is therefore logical that the social aspect of romance will change in the digital age. Instead of chatting with a handful of friends over drinks or venting to colleagues, we’re seeking the counsel of four thousand women who are experiencing similar-and in some cases, the exact same-experiences.
It’s demystified this idea that dating is easier for some women than it is for others, says Ellie * another group member. Not to say that there aren’t some advantages that exist, but it was certainly helpful for me in terms of reframing my view of dating. This isn’t a race for women with each other, however it is it is holding males to a higher standards than what I was used to before.
It’s obvious to me, however, how some of the behaviour that’s encouraged and facilitated in Are We the Dating the Same Guy is an issue if displayed by potential suitors. Photos, details of private discussions, and screenshots posted without consent or knowledge are a plethora of. The public is able to search social media profiles on a near daily basis. It doesn’t take long for a partner to get placed in the spotlight. Though Deanna enjoys being in the group, she has some reservations. Sometimes you see people posting ‘If he wanted to, he would’ about paying for things or picking you up in an Uber, she adds. But I’m thinking you’ll come across the problem that it’s a echo chamber of ‘Men’s had us pushed around for a long time, we’re going to give it right back.
We are still the patriarchal system
We are still a patriarchal society-so until we’re truly equal, these online interactions will result in different effects based on the background of each individual. Even so, can a community like this really have committed to empowering itself on one side of the coin and deplorable and inhumane on the other? Are We All Dating the Same Guy? It’s hyperlocal and interpersonal-only really useful for those who live and have a relationship in the area the group is located in. The women and people they talk about could be your next-door neighbor and coworker or friend, family member, or even your most recent Hinge match. There’s also a depersonalization that happens when you use the internet, which makes everything feel like the game. It’s no stretch to say this is objectifying on the dates that are part of both groups. Particularly when the details of private conversations, intimate interactions as well as photos can be shared without knowing or consent, usually as a means of entertainment.
